


He was there the whole entire time

by Icelandic_Flutterby



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Gen, Not Really Character Death, Petals to the metal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-11 15:39:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15975338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icelandic_Flutterby/pseuds/Icelandic_Flutterby
Summary: Thank taz fic writers discord lololol...Barry bluejeans 10 minutes as a Goldcliff militia private





	1. Chapter 1

[10 min b4 thb show up]  
**Goldcliff militia hq:**  
A denim clad man walks in. He speaks cheerfully "hi! Im here about a job?"  
Cap. Cap. answers gruffly "hired."  
the man blinks, "I. uh, I didnt introduce myself?" he says, as Cap. Cap. ushers him out the door, telling him to head to patrol the town square.  
The cap humms, pats him on the arm and says, "aye, what is it then?"  
"Barry Bluejeans! A pleasure-"  
"Aye, now get going, Private, the square wont patrole itself!"  
Nodding eagerly and smiling awkwardly, Barry hurried towards the square, fastening the militia badge on his shirt. He noted with intrest the lovely denim curtains decorating one window, and the pretty blue flowers.  
He whistled a cheery tune, waving hello to pedestrians.  
Coming to the towns square, Barry looked around to make sure he knew what and where everything was.  
The bank was probably the most notable building, but there was a lovely fountain.  
A strolled casually towards it, admiring the glimmering of the water, the statue in the middle and the patterns of the tiles.  
Someone screamed. Barry looked up in intrest, but at the sight of a young kid, his worries abated - kids often screamed for no good reason.  
Then another person screamed, and a terrible crackling noise could be heard. Slowly, Barry turned around.  
It took him a moment to realise what he was seeing - a plant had grown around the bank, out of nowhere, and was now in the proccess of destroying it.  
"yikes" Tutted Barry. "thats a bother," He said, and reached for his stone of Farspeech.  
"Captain Captain? This is Private Barry speaking, theres a situation at the bank." He said calmly.  
"A situation? What Kind of situation?" Barked the Captain.  
"Its being engulfed by a plant monster, Sir. I'm off to deal with it now, But thought I may need backup, Sir." Barry told the captain.  
"Be right there Private," The captain answered.  
Barry dropped the stone and drew out his sword.  
Taking a deep breath, he charged at the vines, hacking two off, and slashing at others. It did no good, other vines grew to cover the revealed bank wall.  
"ah shit." Barry muttered. He slashed again, but felt a vine encircling his stomach.  
"Oh dear. thats no good." He said.  
in the distance he could see the backup arriving, he waved at them.  
"Hey fellas!" He called cheerfully.  
The vine around him constricted, and barry decided he ought to get out.  
He tried to use his free hand to cut through the vine, but a smaller one encirled his arm, preventing this.  
"Drat," he uttered, and those were the last words of Barry Bluejeans body 608.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I might make this a propper, editied stoey one day, but today is not rhat day

.  
Barry was strolling around the lovely little village that he had wandered into. He was currently out of a job, but didnt feel bothered by that. He had found a shady little alley, and was eagerly sight seeing. Lovely little flowers were all around the place, belladonnas, nightshade, killberries, roses, poison cherries and more. He smiled at the beauty.

"Come see the show! First come, best see! Taako's beautiful, magnificent, stunning *name of show*! Come one and all! Come have a fun time and a feast at the end!" shouted a strangely familiar voice. Barry, intriqued by the voice and the equally familiar name, wandered towards thw town center.

when he came to the square, the first thing he saw was a colourfull caravan. It was a gorgeous caravan, aside from the colours, all glam and magneficence of a royal carriage, Barry mused. The colours seemed quite fitting though, for all that it looked like a rainbow had thrown up on it.  
"Step up and see the magic!" Said the person in the caravan to his audience.

Barry stared, flushed, at this drop dead gorgeous elf. The tips of his ears brushed against his lovely wizard-cook hat, his earings jangled, his eyeshadow glittered in the bright lights.  
Barry had never seen a hotter elf.

"Today, lovelies, Ive got a special treat gor yall!" The elf declared grandly, gesturing widely. "For today, is the day that Taako, yours truly," the ekf Taako winked, "makes the thirty clove garlic chicken recipe!" 

What followed left Barry and the crowd around him dazed with wonder. The glam! the pizzaz! the, the!   
Barry and all the others eagerly joined the line for food.  
What followed was the best and later wost experience of barry body number 490's short live. Best, for the food was truly delicious. Worst, for that was a truly painful death.  
Lich Barry floated above his corpse, conflicted emotions warring. To follow Taako, after what was an awful, traumatic experience, or not?   
No, he couldn't. He decided. A lich following the elf wouldnt help any. This fact felt so awful that for a moment, Barry fractured. If only he could cry, it might have helped him some.


End file.
